Watching this movie made me remember how much I would love to be a personal assistant to a celebrity. It could be to a director, a B-list actor, a musician, and I would work my way up. I’m totally down for the perks (traveling, nice things, the money…). I would ideally love to work for one of the following:
Blake Lively
Lauren Conrad
Miley Cyrus (dumb bitch)
Leighton Meester
or some really awesome, down to earth guy…like Penn Badgely or something.

Anyway, enough dreaming. Here’s reality:

I figured out my approximate 3-4 year plan. Of course, nothing ever goes according to plan, and I actually wish I didn’t have a plan, but I talked about it today and realized I subconsciously have one. I figured I’d write it down so I can forget about it.

Live where I am now until Sept. 2010.
Switch to the master bedroom when Jordan moves out and share that price with Chris until I graduate.
Graduate June 2011.
Get my own apartment with Chris (or somehow afford this one ourselves…?)
Work in Philadelphia for 1 year to save up money to move to Southern California.
Get married while still living in Philadelphia.
Move to California within 1.5 years of graduating.

Realistic? As of now, yes.
Anyway, I’m procrastinating falling asleep, I have an exam at 4pm tomorrow that I am dreading, and studied for a good 12 hours for. If I don’t do well on this, I’m hopeless.

I realized that I need to focus on the present because when the time comes for graduation and the future, I know I’ll regret not living in the now. I need to stay focused on the present, because that will define my future. I need to stop thinking about future possibilities (post-grad move, marriage, etc.) and focus on my life NOW (part-time job, school, friends).

These past few days, I have been very chipper and my outlook feels like it has completely changed. I keep trying to forget about the little things and focus on the exciting. I got a part-time job for the summer, so I can put that money into savings. The DZ Formal is on Saturday, I’m really excited to wear my dress and have everyone finally meet my boyfriend.

I don’t know… this is just random talk but I’m happy at the moment. Blahblahblah adios

Tonight, one of my best friends called me to let me know that a friend of ours that we went to middle school and high school with, has been diagnosed with bone cancer. Mark Herzlich is now a linebacker at Boston College. He was going on to his senior year, and is apparently being seriously scouted for the NFL. He has to put everything on hold because he found out he has Ewing’s Sarcoma. You can find a bunch of articles about him on ESPN.com.

When I found this out, I was in disbelief, I still am. As the articles say, he is strong and if anyone can fight this fight, it is Mark. He’s one of the nicest people, even if you haven’t talked to him in years. Out of everyone, he doesn’t deserve this burden. He has such a bright future ahead of him and it has to be put on hold for cancer.
Hopefully, he will learn a lot from this experience, become closer to friends and family, recover as fast as possible, and get back in the game.

I sent him a message on Facebook, because a short wall post seemed too impersonal. I talked about how it’s probably weird hearing from people he hasn’t heard from in years but that no matter who he talks to and who he doesn’t, we’re all rooting for him and have him in our thoughts.

Things like this make me wish I was able to talk to every single person I know. Just because I don’t talk to people anymore, doesn’t mean I don’t think about them or don’t care about them. I wish I could keep up with everyone but as life goes on, you sift some people out and keep the closer ones close. No matter what, those high school reunions will be there (next year??) and there is always the awkward small talk and sightings that I secretly cherish.

Best of luck, Mark. I hope to see you soon. We know you’ll pull through.

1, 2, 3, Counting the signs we see
The tall buildings fading in the distance
Only dots on a map
4, 5, 6, the two of us a perfect fit
You’re all mine, all mine

And all I can say is you blow me away.

Like an apple on a tree,
Hiding out behind the leaves
I was difficult to reach
But you picked me.
Like a shell upon a beach
Just another pretty piece
I was difficult to see
But you picked me.

So softly, rain against the windows
And the strong coffee
Warming up my fingers
In this fisherman’s house you got me
Searched the sand, and climbed the tree
And brought me back down.

And all I can say is you blow me away.

Like an apple on a tree,
Hiding out behind the leaves
I was difficult to reach
But you picked me.
Like a shell upon a beach
Just another pretty piece
I was difficult to see
But you picked me.

“I’ve been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see.
Painted faces fill the places I can’t reach.
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you and all you know and how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you.

Off in the night while you live it up, I’m off to sleep
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat.
I hope it’s gonna make you notice
I hope it’s gonna make you notice

Someone like me, someone like me
Someone like me, somebody.

I’m ready now, I’m ready now
I’m ready now, I’m ready now

Someone like you, somebody.”

I saw Adventureland tonight. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Every time I see a movie with a happy love story, I imagine my life being like the movies and long for it. I become a hopeless romantic, repeating quotes like “I don’t want to lose you” because I mean it but it took a movie for me to say it. I feel these things that I can’t put into words until I hear it in a movie, a tv show, a song, and then it hits me and I tell that person how I feel, thanks (insert title here). 

I think I might just start posting lyrics on here, of songs that I really enjoy the words to. I’ll probably associate all of them with something, but you probably won’t know what.

I miss you, I wish I could’ve talked to you today. It makes me sad that I couldn’t. I call your phone, even though it’s off, just to hear your voice. It makes me smile… every time. I just wish you could’ve called me for 5 minutes, like you did before. We split the bill. $2.50 each for a phone call…come on.

Tomorrow night we’re going out for Liz’s 21st, I’m waking up the following day (Valentine’s Day) and leaving for Nashville. Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday will be spent in Nashville/traveling. I can’t wait, hopefully it’s really great. 

After I return from Nashville, I have three short days until I go to New York and reunite with Chris. The whole time he has been gone, I’ve handled him being away extremely well. We’ve never been apart this long and now that I know that I’ll be seeing him so shortly, I’m more anxious, excited, and impatient as ever. I miss him more now than I have this entire time. The few days before seeing him are going to crawl (hopefully not). 

I’ve gotten 3 out of 6 packages/cards that I’ve been expecting. Picking up the 4th tomorrow from the Post Office. My Valentine’s present and The Sleeping pre-order package won’t arrive until I return from Nashville. Something to look forward to, although I already have the CD.

I bought two tickets to see Margot & The Nuclear So and So’s today. I’m really excited about it. At some point last week, I was driving out to see my mom and “Broadripple is Burning” came on my iPod. I started to sing along and all of a sudden found myself hysterically crying. It’s meaningful to me, I suppose. For multiple reasons that I don’t think anybody could ever understand. Even if I go to this show alone, I will love it, and probably cry. 

I’m keeping my guard up.

That would be a sample lyric from one of the songs off of the new Sleeping cd.. What it Takes. It comes out on Feb. 17th but pre-order now and get a t-shirt!! 

http://www.victoryrecords.com/item/14222/20/The_Sleeping_PreOrder_Package